The Religion That No One Joined

A few years ago I decided to really give starting my own religion a go. I invented the beliefs, made flyers and handed them around town and posted info sheets up on public walls. They had contact details on them but, sadly, nobody ever got back to me. I changed the bit where I spelt 'heart' as 'hart', but other than that the following were the contents of the flyers - which outlined, in the form of a Q&A the theology of my new religion in a leaflet called:

G'Nondray! - A NEW BEGINING

G'nondrism, what is it?

G'nondrism is a religion based around the God G'nondray. Although it is possible that some G'nondrists do not consider G'nondray to be a God but instead they may insist that he is a G'nondray.

G'nondray: Who is he?

G'nondray is a God who unlike traditional Gods does not reward belief and faith but on the contrary he severely punishes believers and does not want anyone to believe that he exists.

G'nondrists: Do they believe that he exists?

Gonondré explicitly wants us not to believe that he exists and it is to this glorious end that he offers us no evidence of his existence nor does he give any reason or motive for believing in him.

G'nondrists and life: How do they explain it?

With regards to explaining the immense complexity and diversity of life G'nondrists usually don't believe in an explanation as simple as G'nondray created the universe nor do they believe that life is the result of millions of years of evolution through natural selection. Rather they normally believe that the universe and everything in it, the world and all species included occurred completely by chance, as unexpectedly as a bolt of lightning from a clear blue sky and G'nondray was just as surprised about it as anyone.

Does Gononndray exist?

No.

G'nondray: How is it spelt?

There is more than one way to spell Gonondré and below listed are just a few of them.

Gonandré

Gonondré

Gonandreay

Gonondrey

Gonandreay

Gonondreay

Gonandray

Gonondray

Gonnandré

Gonnondré

Gonnondrey

Gonnandrey

Gonnandreay

Gonnondreay

Gonnandray

Gonnondray

Gonanndré

Gononndré

Gonanndrey

Gononndrey

Gonanndreay

Gonanndreay

Gononndreay

Gonanndray

Gononndray

Gonnanndré

Gonnonndré

Gonnanndrey

Gonnonndrey

Gonnanndreay

Gonnonndreay

Gonnanndray

Gonnonndray

G'nondray

G'nandré

Mask

Because of the mystical magicalness of Gonanndreay his name can be spelt in ways that are so different from each other that they scarcely resemble one another or even only have just one letter in common, hence Mask. Although all the ways look quite different, they are all pronounced exactly the same. So we pronounce Mask the same way that we would pronounce Gonandray. This is not to be confused with the word mask, which means a covering for all or part of the face.

Having said that,it is possible that some may refute the mystical magicalness of Gonnonndreay, particularly since it is generally accepted that he doesn't exist. It is therefore possible to hypostasise that these people probably think that there is only one way to spell G'nondray and that it probably isn't Mask. It is currently unknown whether or not there are any of these people or how many of them there are but they are probably very dangerous.

Do Gonondrists really not believe in the existence of Gonnanndreay?

Some people may lob the accusation that G'Nondrists such as myself actually do believe that G'nondray exists but they are just acting as if he doesn't to avoid being punished. This is ridiculous. The simple fact is that even if there ever where to be found some evidence to prove his existence I would simply not believe it because I know in my heart that he just does not exist and nothing will change my mind about that.

Is G'Nondray a God of Contradiction?

Yes.

What else are you going to tell me about Gonandray?
 
It is not known whether or not G'Nonnonndréay believes in himself.

 
If anyone has a question about the theology of G'Nondrism not metioned here, please leave a comment below - you son of a motherless goat.